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supposed former emo junkie
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http://creamybeefy.com/

I had no reason to buy this domain, other then it was just a necessity. It forwards to my Twon.mp address now. That is all. Livejournal out.
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http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27557521/

California rights group have filed suit with the State Court, who granted the marriages in the first place, to invalidate the amendment as unconstitutional...
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A coworker asked me when I came in if today was a bittersweet day for me?

I had to pause and reflect for a second. The answer, I replied, was a resounding negative! Today is an incredible day, even with the immenent passage of Prop 8 and 2 other states gay-hatin. But fret not dear gays, for today is still a day for celebration! We lost some battles, but we march forward in the war.

It hurts to have had a right, and to have had said right then stripped away. And I feel deeply for those who have been wed in Cali and then had a public referendum declare that monumentous life changing event is invalid in the majority of their neighbors eyes. Even though they will remain wed, they are an elite group of outsiders going against the law.

But we have to big picture this. There was -almost- a majority of people in Cali who are in favor of equal rights for all their neighbors. How amazing is that! 10 years ago, that would have been unfathomable! Social change -is- coming! Its coming! Its right here. 20's and 30's folks are in largely in favor of freedom for everyone. But sadly there is a large senior base who holds to the ways of their youth. But they will be gone someday, though we may love them.

Culture war is just that, a war. And all the courts in the world can side in favor of our civil liberties, but it is this shift in popular opinion that shows that change will take hold. And we are winning the war, despite setbacks. We just need to refocus and push forward. Yes, we can.

And what better way to push forward than under the leadership of a progressive, eloquent man backed by the majority of the house and senate. Sadness? Not today =) Today is Hope! I believe tomorrow will be a better day. I believe that today is, in fact, a better day!

Today, I mourn the setbacks of my people. but I cheer the advancement of our entire society! History is made here people. Black, white, gay or straight. Today is a better day. There is nothing bitter about it.

Current Mood: thankful

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I downloaded the "eljay" app for my G1 and figured id use it this one time. Hello world! I'm well. Ok, goodbye. Twitter if you need me.
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http://blogactionday.org

Awareness might possibly be the best weapon against any social injustice that faces us today.

I open with that, because I feel slightly silly writing about a social ill in the hopes of rectifying it. For me, its like talking about how to solve a problem. It is great to have discussion, but actions are the root of change, not words. And me typing away on my cell phone at work isn't going to find any one person less hungry then they were before.

But given the economic downswing, and the reality of a sarah palin white house, shouldn't we be more aware of such realitys? Ok, I jest about the last part. However, most of us are lucky enough to have never had experienced that which could be considered "poverty". I consider myself lucky for all the blessings I've been granted, financial included. Knowing that by sheer luck, I was born with the priviledge of falling within the worlds top 10% economic class; something most of us take for granted on a daily basis. It is so easy to just assume that we, being nothing special on the global scale, are "average" and that the majority of the folks in the world are exactly like us.

We are bombarded with tv imagery of shiny people with expensive clothes and we feel almost inferior to them. But they are not the standard. They are not average. We are not the standard. We are not average. "Average" is a standard of living that most anyone reading this random blog entry could ever concieve tolerating. I have been so priviledged as to never have gone to bed hungry for not having food to eat. I have always had a roof over my head, clean drinking water, sanitary living conditions. (Well, outside of my own desanitizing).

Its just that the problem is so expansive, and yet so easy to ignore. And how do we begin to help? I mean us. Not the governments, or the charitable organizations, or the televangelists. How do you and I affect the life of someone we don't know and have never met, in a positive way. Its a question I personally ponder regularly. Or would like to think I do. However the reality is I get so wrapped up in my own life that I don't have the lack of diligent regard I should be having for these issues. My mother, growing up, always saw my concern for issues larger than myself and would tell me "focus on you and your life. Worrying about the well being of the larger whole is pointless. You can't fix the world; so focus on living your life or you'll go crazy trying to fix other peoples". I've gone through periods or being appauled by the disregard, to periods of seeing the sanity and wisdom of the statement.

But while I get to sit here and wax on about philisophical quandries, someone far away... And possibly someone nearby, is starving to death. Doesn't have a home. Doent have clean water to drink or basic medical supplies. And I feel powerless to help them. So I shrug it off and say theres nothing I can do about it. Or someday ill help out. My life is just too hectic, too busy. I can barely pay my bills, how can I help others. I would love to try, but wouldn't know where to begin. It would just be way to inconvenient.

I'm sure you probably mirror at least some of these feelings, right? And some of you want to say no, or tell me all the things I could do to make it better. Well tell me, what have -you- done this month to help the situation?

I never promised to blog anywhere with the solution. If the solution was so easily divulged, it would probably no longer be an issue. But talking about it leads to ideas. Maybe if the feeling of helplessness abides, and words flow freely, then action can come more freely. What are we going to do about this?
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the least privilege approach allows programs to do only what they have to to be able to execute properly, and nothing more.
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How do you go about fixing something when youre not even sure why its broken in the first place?
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I never blog pictures. I need to figure out what to do with my LJ now that I stopped blogging my twitter updates as most anyone who would read this follows me on twitter anyways. Hmm.
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so it was a little over 2 weeks ago that i was sure i was going to die.

that may sound a tad dramatic, but that is most certainly how it felt. waking in the middle of the night, feeling like my heart wasnt beating, leaving me on the verge of passing out. pain radiating through my arms and chest. my biggest concern was my poor mom, how would she deal with such a loss.

then it went away. came and went, night after night, for a week. Doctors don't know why. but its getting better. maybe for better eating habits. maybe for the anti- acid / anti- anxiety meds i am now on. your guess is as good as mine/ theirs.

i just know that im recovering. and its left me changed. and not in that cliche way. not in that "oh, tell people that i love them more" kinda way. i haven't quite resolved the issues that have arisen for me yet. i just know its afforded me a perspective i didnt have before. for better or worse.
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not today.

Today they're mine.
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so I spend like 6 days of the week in the company of other people. Friends, family, coworkers, etc. And everything is just fine.

But on Monday, the day I have off that no one else does, I find myself numbing lonely. I'm not sure why. Had I not gotten a flat tire yesterday I wouldnt have spoken to anyone all day.

Most of the day is fine, but towards the end of the day I find myself anxious and paniced and dying to get out of the house. Why cant I spend a single day alone with feeling sad about it? Do I need distraction that much? I don't like feeling lonely. But who does, right?
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if youve known me for long, you know that for like 10 years ive dealt with the religious issue. i used to be a person of faith. Faith gave order and purpose to an orderless and purposeless universe.

ive conceded a loss on the issue at this point. while the hole the absence of faith has left is a large one, you cant convince yourself to believe something you dont believe. to feel something you just dont feel. even if you want to.

maybe someday ill end up with someone of faith who can show me the light, figuratively speaking. but not so much are the religious gays a large group to be sampled from.

i guess theres just no room for such things in my life now.
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I had these silly things i had aspired to do this year. Believe it or not, I've made headway in some of them. Some, not so much.

Writing in here was (part of) one of them. It came up in a chat with Josh the other day how I used to write about everything and everyone in my journal; even write about the people reading this journal. That kind of disclosure, public or otherwise, now seems lost and foreign to me.

but what was the benefit to such action. what was the consequence of its absence?
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So today at work i came to a peculiar realization.. I dont have a single thing im looking forward to at the moment. Not a one. I mean, i have 'dreams' about some benevolent G-d handing me my dream job, or that relationship i'd like, or a modest lottery win. But aside from those, there is no single goal i am working towards, big or small. My days revolve around looking forward toward the most basic of daily rewards; relaxing after work, dinner. It just kinda appeared out of nowhere. ...the realization that is.
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  • 05:59 so thrilled to be up at 6am on my day off. apparently my phone alarm forgot that i didnt need to go to work today. #
  • 11:52 Mmmm.... Instant coffee. ...oh wait, did I say "Mmmm"? That's not what I meant. #
  • 17:39 Chevy Chase was kinda cute in 1975 #
  • 18:11 Friday the 4th stands to be the busiest day ever! I hope I can get it off. And rumor is theres waterfire too, st... hellotxt.com/qrhO #
  • 23:10 I wish I hadnt slept in this morning! I'll never get to sleep now.. #
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  • 16:35 Oooookkkk. I will try plurk. #
  • 16:43 ...and now I try and condence my web 2.0 world. #
  • 17:16 i sure dont feel like putting any clothes on. too warm. #
  • 18:54 Megan= I would be -so down- for a meat bun! #
  • 23:08 I'm not quite sure if its 1,000 or 2,000 degrees in my bedroom right now... #
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  • 09:44 HTC Diamond. You could so be my new phone you sexy lil thing. So expensive, but I'd save on monthly bills... #
  • 10:11 Oh Tofu, I remember when we were once enemies #
  • 11:14 twitpic.com/2w61 - Would you like some Coffee to go with that Ice Cream? #
  • 11:14 twitpic.com/2w62 - Would you like some Coffee to go with that Ice Cream? #
  • 23:03 ...i stole your honey like i stole your bike... #
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  • 08:42 thanks all for the cheesy updates ;) I may try them, they are "new". #
  • 11:19 i try not to feel sorry for myself. its not an appealing character trait. but sometimes i just feel inferior; misguided. par for the course #
  • 17:28 "Bleeding Love" is the most emo song in existence under its pop exterior!! a real emo band needs to cover it and do it justice. #
  • 18:32 An empty stomach is not a good political adviser. #
  • 22:11 today is over. I'm perfectly cool with that. #
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  • 09:43 We need to bring "Kim-napped" back. #
  • 15:59 we should all get the "Foxfire" tattoo =) #
  • 16:19 Suze Orman is making me sad lol #
  • 19:16 has anyone tried kraft macaroni and cheese crackers yet? #
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  • 06:25 I'm at Spring St, Pawtucket, RI 02860, USA - bkite.com/00J8I #
  • 06:30 I'm at Spring St, Pawtucket, RI 02860, USA - bkite.com/00J8J #
  • 07:25 yup. im just living the same day over and over again. its like groundhog day without all fun lack of consequences stuff. #
  • 09:00 there was once a time i was not on "team apple"... it seems like a distant memory. #
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  • 07:18 WHY!? do I have "don't cry for me Argentina" in my head at 7am??? #
  • 08:28 twitpic.com/2pea - Yuuummmmyyyyyy #
  • 12:21 watched "Foxfire" with Josh for the first time yesterday. Scene: 1996. Characters: angelina jolies boobs and teen jenny lewis of rilo kiley! #
  • 12:36 twitpic.com/2poq - Apparently the cleaners were hoping id get lead. They replaced my blue button with a white one. #
  • 15:42 Currently Browsing: flickr.com/photos/twon/ Pictures of the Hail at my apartment today that covered everything and caused a mess #
  • 22:59 I'm at Spring St, Pawtucket, RI 02860, USA - bkite.com/00J3q #
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  • 10:13 Currently Browsing: ihasahotdog.com/ the canine variety of icanhascheezburger! #
  • 10:13 Currently Browsing: failblog.org/ The Fail Blog! No aminals, just FAIL! #
  • 16:45 So glad I paid off that credit card! ...so I could run out and buy that brand new $150 electric razor! -->FAIL at saving money. #
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  • 10:25 SSooorrreee.... #

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  • 10:57 someone here is getting punched in the nuts! Only issue is who is more deserving!? Grr... #
  • 22:33 Some complete stranger on Digg made me lose "The Game". I haven't lost the game in forever! #
  • 22:35 losethegame.com/default4.htm why I lost the game. #
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  • 15:22 I solved the cox mystery! see the Electric Bill Debacle. No service at my house cause no 103 spring street. 101 Spring street front cox has! #
  • 18:03 sometimes... I actually think about giving up music. Is that even possible? I swear i'd be better off for the sacrifice. I want to try it #
  • 18:27 twitpic.com/2hr4 - I dont care. I want to try tuscan orange grapefruit beer! #
  • 22:11 Currently Browsing: youtube.com/watch?v=xRBpLL1H3jw I remember this Nestle commercial! 22 years ago? damn! P.S.- white chocolate FTW! #
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  • 10:15 twitpic.com/2di5 - These cookies are much more creepy lifesize on a trailer #
  • 10:31 Mountain Dew Supernova (Strawberry Melon) comes in 12 packs now. Yes, yes. this pleases the Twon. #
  • 15:14 Ok ok. I'm downloading the Spore Creature Creator Demo. I get that its going to be big! lol Oh, and will dl ff3. but not ready to use it yet #
  • 19:37 Currently Browsing: youtube.com/watch?v=lviaUNL4ma0 Made my first Spore lol It really is fun to do! I look forward to the full game #
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  • 11:13 Steady feet, don't fail me now. I'm gonna run til you can't walk. #
  • 20:40 Dear Thunderstorm: I've been waiting 5 hours for my internet to come back up. Please dont kill the power!! k thx. #
  • 20:51 The BATTLESTAR mid-season finale was AWESOME! Seat of my pants for most of it. But not coming back until early NEXT YEAR!?!?! FAIL!! #
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  • 13:32 chilling at moms. WoW is stupid. It made me forget I have Battlestar Galactica to watch!! #
  • 13:50 WTF is a "Plutoid"? #
  • 17:37 Currently Browsing: www.vernfonk.com/asp/videos.asp I WANT Vern Fonk Insurance!!! Shapoopi! #
  • 17:43 I had an explosively horrible nightmare today... at like 2 in the afternoon. It's still bugging me. #
  • 23:10 Cholula Hot Sauce rocks my world. It makes my favorite snack, Hummus and Pita, 10 times better!! I put it on -everything-! #
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  • 06:34 A coworker is making me listen to the new "donna summer". What makes you decide to put out a new album like 20 years after you were popular? #
  • 15:49 Currently Browsing: tinyurl.com/6cfcof Apparently I'm pretty big in Polands political blogosphere lol #
  • 17:28 Currently Browsing: tinyurl.com/5qplha Aww, renting videos. I remember doing that :) #
  • 21:40 watched a movie called "the feeding" horrid! Ended early. Watching "taboo" now. #
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  • 16:19 crazy about tim russert!!! #

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  • 08:12 nothing says 7am breakfast like jalapeño peppers and fiery hot sauce! #
  • 15:11 Currently Browsing: www.theackattack.com/?p=70 When "Lost" meets "Battlestar". Starbuck and Sawyer would be the best couple ever!!! #
  • 16:18 i'm not proud of what i'm doing at this moment #
  • 17:21 I downloaded something... something very dangerous... Something I'll regret I fear. #
  • 17:22 Qik's coming for the iPhone! Hurray! #
  • 19:18 So....Um... Maybe... I am using my free trial at World of Warcraft. #
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  • 06:39 Curse you Climate Change! Its still Spring!!! WTF. #
  • 10:34 just had my first interview for that lead position I'm not even sure I want yet. Like 8 people applied for the position anyways. #
  • 11:55 OK NOW LOOK ... You -all- know my AIM at work sucks. I'M SORRY!!! #
  • 11:57 ...when I have iPhone 3G it will no longer be an issue! :-p #
  • 16:25 I can has 10 pm? #
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  • 23:39 Megan unleashed the killer spider that will take my life tonight! #
  • 23:45 Currently Browsing: twitter.com/btun42 Hey, Brandon Tunney is up in the hiz-ouse now. +10 cool points for twitter. #
  • 11:02 WWDC today! looking forward to iphone 2.0. almost hoping its not available today seeing as i can't buy it right this moment lol #
  • 11:03 Currently Browsing: www.flickr.com/photos/twon/2385590849/ btw, if you are curious and scared about my new icon lol... #
  • 15:25 Yup. I'll pro'lly be getting the 16gb white 3g iphone. most likely. #
  • 18:41 so p. diddy is officially puff daddy again, eh? Good to know. #
  • 19:25 Currently Browsing: my.barackobama.com/page/community/post/alexokrent/gGggJS barack obama's open letter to the LGBT community... #
  • 20:36 Currently Browsing: youtube.com/watch?v=wAxIXBJcX2c ha ha ha! I LIVE for bad covers. (Never Gonna Give You Up) #
  • 20:38 It was just bright red outside for sunset. everything had an orange glow. creepy! #
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  • 05:58 hey, body. i don't work today. why am i awake now? its sunday for pete's sake! #
  • 15:58 Currently Browsing: youtube.com/watch?v=_MNkKYkDrkU if i had a cat i'd buy a rolly for it ...a Rolly: dancing high quality mp3 player #
  • 17:16 Trying out and posting from socialthing.com ...don't judge me. #
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  • 10:20 oh crap!! I forgot about my capital one due today!!! I actually literally have :no: money until next Friday. No coffee? Crap!! #
  • 13:18 twitpic.com/1yfd - soon we shall be together again my love... soon. #
  • 13:20 twitpic.com/1yfi - ...how i know Shannon had my tmobile Dash for a hot minute. #
  • 21:51 just watched "The Slaughter" with j.shan. Soooo bad. but knowing that in advance made it ok. Fear Net never fails #
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  • 12:16 drudging through my double today with my broken phone ! #
  • 12:51 Is it ten pm yet? I feel soooo disconnected this week. How is everyone? #
  • 13:30 just volunteered to up my number of doubles to 2 a week! But no more! #
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  • 10:47 garfieldminusgarfield.net makes jon look insane. Quite interesting #
  • 10:55 phone is continuing it path unto death as the dead strip progresses worse. Its a pain to do anything! #
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  • 07:10 Well at least I can turn my phone sideaways and use the web properly! #
  • 10:04 I think I just had a breakthrough? #
  • 12:22 Snickers do kind of make life worth living. #
  • 21:24 (CNN) Obama has clinched the Democratic nomination.. first African-American in US history to lead a major-party ticket #
  • 21:39 Does anyone watch watch "Days of Our Lives" and will admit it? I have (no life and) a question... #
  • 22:19 listening to Obama Speech. Glad he won. He sure is giving Clinton lip service. Wonder if this is the precursor to an Obama / Clinton ticket. #
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  • 02:37 Go to bed Twon! #
  • 11:05 Currently Browsing: www.flickr.com/photos/twon/2544290306/ I made an online mix tape. Feel free to download if you share my tastes. #
  • 12:55 They Call me Twon seesmic.com/videos/nXoLSpRFN9 #
  • 15:28 I really need to go out now. Ok, bye! #
  • 20:48 So my iphone is broken. megan voodoo curse or 1 year time bomb installed to make me buy a new phone? Bottom 1/4 of my screen doesnt work :( #
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  • 13:11 Will call peoples at 4:30 to set plans. Rilo Kiley at 630. #

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  • 23:28 thus ends another season of Lost. As always with tons of plot advancement yet no clue what the hell just happened or what it means lol #
  • 09:00 is it 10pm yet? #
  • 12:31 you all nuts! Second shift almost here. Blah #
  • 12:51 twitpic.com/1n3r - ...and then with the free ice cream things got better #
  • 18:14 cuatro horas mas! #
  • 20:19 Final stretch! I applied for the lead position that other guy just got tired from on second shift. Horrid hours, LOTS more money #
  • 20:45 *yaawwwnnnnn* #
  • 22:38 remember that april fools day years ago when 95.5 WBRU became "Buddy.FM"? That was a good day! #
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  • 08:03 twitpic.com/1lgj - Speaking of shaking, apparently the Jolt Cola people want in on 5HR Energy! #
  • 10:51 my obnoxious coworker of years got fired today! Hooray!! Which means lots of Double Shifts for me starting tomorrow!! Hoora-- ...Wait, what? #
  • 20:30 Oh Rachel Ray, I knew you and Bin Laden were shacking up! I will never use Extra Virgin Olive Oil or wear scarves again!!! ...stupid DD. #
  • 20:59 Season Finale of LOST in 3... 2... 1... #
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  • 07:12 Though I adore my Strawberry Supernova Mountain Dew, I wonder if -this- summer will bring yummy Ice Cucumber Pepsi from Japan to the States? #
  • 17:49 ANTS!!! ARGH!!! #
  • 17:54 Currently Browsing: www.imdb.com/title/tt1231277/ They are making a Donnie Darko sequal? ...about his sister? No thank you. #
  • 18:46 So apparently Miley Cyrus watched "10 things i hate about you" and said "heyyy.... I could sing this". Aww, heath ledger. #
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  • 18:49 I am no thrilled I get to try and commit yet *another* debit card number to memory! I just learned the last one completely lol #

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  • 21:17 just saw a commercial for 'Sweatin' to the Oldies: 20th anniversary edition' on DVD. it's like wii fit for the 80's! #

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  • 11:36 Sno balls, slim jims, and slushies. You can tell we're Boston bound. Junk Food 4eva #
  • 14:49 twitpic.com/1h3f - Me. Juli. Shannon. Boston. Sunny. Thirst. Soon... Beer! #
  • 17:51 Oh Watermelon Ale and fried pickles. So full. So tired. Plus I'm now a Scientologist. Longest T ride ever!! Later: Wii Fit and Orphanage! #
  • 17:58 I've created a new game called "Wii Nap". It involves a kitten sleeping / snoring in a basket with a self set timer and alarm. I'll be rich #
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  • 07:45 Shut Up "20 worst chick flicks" list. "The Notebook" is one of the best movies ever!! Mmmm Ryan Gosling... #
  • 09:45 twitpic.com/1f8y - Nice weather means we have the Gator again! Yay go kart go! #
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fighting adulthood since '96
User: [info]twon
Name: fighting adulthood since '96
Website: The Hideaway
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